I've been dropping my DNA all over town, little bits of me separated away, strand by strand. It began with just a few, and has become handfuls of hair, so that now I have to wear it tied up to keep from leaving a trail everywhere I go.  My formerly substantial ponytail has dwindled to less than half its original diameter. The hair that still remains gets sparser by the day, and I'm at the point now that it's time to just cut it off. I'm ready. I have an appointment to get that done this week.

I remind myself that with each strand of hair that I lose, I get closer to finishing this treatment and closer to well. It's all part of the trip down into the tunnel.  I haven't reached the deepest part yet, but I can tell you the descent has been getting steeper lately. So many changes with this body of mine.... nothing unmanageable, just uncomfortable - stuffy nose, sensitive gums, hoarseness of voice, low appetite, stomach pains, easily winded, head fog, intense fatigue, and the very beginnings of neuropathy in my fingers and toes. It's all temporary, it goes with the territory, it's not horrible.

Actually, I feel worse for Husband! He has to deal with me everyday.... He's a champ. The most loving, caring, attentive Man ever. So much so, that he's gotten himself worn down. He'll never admit it, but he needs a break. So this week, he's off of chemo buddy duty. It'll save him from trying to crunch 5 days of work into 4, and hopefully give him some breathing room. I'll miss him. (You know you are with the right person in life when you can have fun doing just about anything. Even chemo! I don't know how, but we usually find something to laugh about. It's usually me being a wise ass and teasing him about something - like the other day when he kept pulling on the door to leave a certain area of the hospital and it wouldn't budge...and the sign, in front of his face, saying, "PUSH.") Chemo buddy this week will be my sister Dana.  No doubt we'll have fun too - she's a nurse and just plain crazy :)

One of the upsides to having a health challenge is that it has reinforced to me how good peoples' hearts are.   People in my life, as well as pure strangers, have been amazing. From Karen R. sending me crazy jokes on text that make me laugh so hard I can't breathe, and Husband's cousins sending over a couple of meals, to the beautiful card from some ladies I've never even met, I've been so touched.  My closest neighbor, Sally, is a 91 year old dynamo who is the darling of my street, and has been a dear friend to my family since we moved here in 2007. She loves to cook. But as much as she loves to cook, she loves sharing it even more, and the company of visitors. I'm one of the lucky beneficiaries of her creations, and she has been making me the best homemade soups ever.  It's love in a bowl, pure and simple. Delicious and comforting and healthy all at once.  And there are many more folks, you all know who you are, and I want you to know I'm very thankful.

Another upside, and this one is a big surprise to me, is that I'm much calmer about stuff. Not that I was a freak before, but when something of this magnitude happens, it makes all the other little things in life shrink. Stupid things that used to seem important have been put in proper perspective, and this has lifted a lot of worry away. I'm interested to see how this all plays out going forward.... but Family and Friends, I still want you remove your shoes when you come into my house. I may be calmer but I'm still shoe-dirt-o-phobic!