Laura's Landing Place

I'm experiencing the hardest part so far, I think. At this point I'm 8 treatments in, with 4 to go, and I definitely feel it. This is the slog. Very low energy, sleeping a lot, stomach problems, headaches and constant nosebleeds are my daily deal. And just like the oncologist predicted, the medication that causes a screeching halt in new cell production also kills things we'd rather have left be.... so what that really means is I've fallen straight off a steep cliff and slammed head first into sudden menopause. Well, maybe it was face-first, if all the zits are any indication. It ain't pretty, people. Even though I can't ignore what this body of mine is doing, I'm staying focused on the completion of this.  Something I've come to understand is that we are conditioned to be devastated by a breast cancer diagnosis, from our medical care providers to family and friends' reactions.  But it doesn't have to go that way, and I personally I reject that...

When I had my check up with the medical oncologist 2 weeks ago, he seemed skeptical that I'd not fall apart when I lost my hair. "Even the toughest nut can have a hard time with it," he said. Dammit man, it's just hair, it'll grow back. I did hold on to it as long as I practically could, but when it got to the point of no disguise, and taking me an extra hour to get ready to go anywhere because it was fiercely falling out, I was done with it. Some people do it themselves, but I didn't. I went to see a stylist who specializes in working with people with hair loss. When she sat me in the chair, it was facing the mirror, and she asked me if I wanted to spin the chair so I didn't see it happening. NO WAY! I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO SEE THIS! I mean, when else in life would I ever shave my head? I MUST SEE this process! It was methodical, starting on the right side of my head at my temple, and zip zip, one strip gone.  As she worked her way from one side to the oth...